Comments on: A Message from Becca http://www.livinginlove.us Get Close, Considered and Cared For Tue, 06 Sep 2011 01:53:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: John Schinnerer http://www.livinginlove.us/comment-page-1#comment-241 John Schinnerer Wed, 04 Aug 2010 18:24:06 +0000 http://www.livinginlove.us/a-message-from-becca#comment-241 Dear Rebecca: Thank you for the wonderful, important work you are doing for couples and for humanity! Please continue the outstanding work. The world needs more folks like you in it! All the best, John Schinnerer, Ph.D. Founder Guide to Self Dear Rebecca:

Thank you for the wonderful, important work you are doing for couples and for humanity! Please continue the outstanding work. The world needs more folks like you in it!

All the best,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Founder Guide to Self

]]> By: Rebecca Jorgensen http://www.livinginlove.us/comment-page-1#comment-183 Rebecca Jorgensen Thu, 27 May 2010 21:29:17 +0000 http://www.livinginlove.us/a-message-from-becca#comment-183 Hi Diane - This is really a hard. I feel so much for you and what a difficult place this is. You're describing a very common pattern couples get caught in. On one hand you want so much to the emotional and sexual closeness, to be loved and to be loving. On the other hand, it's so scary to be close. You wonder if maybe you don't deserve love, maybe there's something about you or your behavior that feeds into the distance and into his behavior. But also, you are very hurt by his behavior because you want (of course) the closeness and love so much. It's very hard to be close and draw your partner close when you're mad and at the same time you're not sure you can trust he really wants you. That fear, sounds like it turns to anger and nagging. Like you're saying, "See I'm hurting, I need you close." But he hears something different, something you don't intend. Read this article and let me know what you think: <a href="http://holdmetightconversations.blogspot.com/2008/11/drawing-together-when-pornography.html" rel="nofollow">http://holdmetightconversations.blogspot.com/2008/11/drawing-together-when-pornography.html</a> Warmly, Becca:-) Hi Diane –
This is really a hard. I feel so much for you and what a difficult place this is.

You’re describing a very common pattern couples get caught in. On one hand you want so much to the emotional and sexual closeness, to be loved and to be loving. On the other hand, it’s so scary to be close. You wonder if maybe you don’t deserve love, maybe there’s something about you or your behavior that feeds into the distance and into his behavior. But also, you are very hurt by his behavior because you want (of course) the closeness and love so much.

It’s very hard to be close and draw your partner close when you’re mad and at the same time you’re not sure you can trust he really wants you. That fear, sounds like it turns to anger and nagging. Like you’re saying, “See I’m hurting, I need you close.” But he hears something different, something you don’t intend.

Read this article and let me know what you think:
http://holdmetightconversations.blogspot.com/2008/11/drawing-together-when-pornography.html

Warmly,
Becca:-)

]]> By: Struggling D. http://www.livinginlove.us/comment-page-1#comment-178 Struggling D. Thu, 27 May 2010 13:33:16 +0000 http://www.livinginlove.us/a-message-from-becca#comment-178 I need help! My husband and I are so far apart emotionally and sexually. He has done some things online with pornography on several different occasions only for me to find out. I've told him I knew and then he'll lie to me then when I further the conversation then he'll make remarks I didn't hurt you . We have been to a our ecclesiastical leader/ Branch President and I have things turned around back to me and what I need to do better so it won't keep happening, or that I'm a nagger. Then I feel like it's my fault, by the way I look or maybe I do nag to much. I am so mad at this, I've become very distant, I don't trust him. We've been married 42 years. I'd like to see it finally get fixed for good or get a divorce which I do not want. I'm 60 and he's 62. I feel I have been living in lies pretty much of our marriage, but I didn't see all this mess until the past 10-15 years and trying to fix it and at the same time being mad it happened at all. Diane I need help! My husband and I are so far apart emotionally and sexually. He has done some things online with pornography on several different occasions only for me to find out. I’ve told him I knew and then he’ll lie to me then when I further the conversation then he’ll make remarks I didn’t hurt you . We have been to a our ecclesiastical leader/ Branch President and I have things turned around back to me and what I need to do better so it won’t keep happening, or that I’m a nagger. Then I feel like it’s my fault, by the way I look or maybe I do nag to much. I am so mad at this, I’ve become very distant, I don’t trust him. We’ve been married 42 years. I’d like to see it finally get fixed for good or get a divorce which I do not want. I’m 60 and he’s 62. I feel I have been living in lies pretty much of our marriage, but I didn’t see all this mess until the past 10-15 years and trying to fix it and at the same time being mad it happened at all. Diane

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